i am writing this after a long time of wanting to but deliberately avoiding to write something (i know i could have put that one better…).
one of my new year’s resolutions is to try my best to NOT ENTERTAIN negative feelings too much. and by not entertaining them, i mean NOT TALKING about them.
it’s going to be such a shot. like a three-pointer. from the opponent’s end of the court. with one hand. and eyes shut. could i be any more lame?
i am a fan of venting. to a close (unfortunate) few. and in here. I feel that it keeps me sane.
however, on brighter days (which actually come quite often) and i read the thoughts i have written — i feel like i am doing my existence an injustice by painting such a dreary picture of it.
nowadays, my work is getting to me a little more than ever, and in many years. often i forget that while it is a part of my life, it isn’t my life.
then in occurred to me: if i could avoid venting too much, and just take things in stride a little more, maybe i’d feel more at ease. if i could just worry less and accept that i can not control every thing (no matter how hard i try), i’d see clearer. if i could just allow myself not to be too disappointed by people, i’d feel less perturbed about possibly disappointing others myself.
something (or someone) in the universe is probably sending me this poem. i will be bold to admit that tonight is the first time that i ever really read it. i remember having seen it on too many walls. i remember having seen it on too many notebooks and journal covers and calendars.
i’ve only paid attention now. and what a time to actually read it.
DESIDERATA
(things to be desired)
Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
okay. i’m okay.
